Leaders Who Demonstrate Emotional Intelligence Make a World of Difference in Stressful Times5/2/2022 We have known for some time that the conditions for leadership have changed in our volatile, uncertain, constantly changing, and ambiguous (so called VUCA) world. Add to these conditions, the huge pressures of a global pandemic, and we can safely say that developing emotional intelligence skills as a leader is more important than as ever, in a world that is spinning out of control on so many levels. Defined as an essential capability for leadership success, emotional intelligence (EI) is the capacity to recognize our own emotions and those of others, the ability to regulate our emotions, and effectively manage relationships with others (Daniel Goleman). Goleman’s research shows that leaders with higher EI have double the impact on business performance and higher levels of performance themselves. In fact, 67% of competencies essential for high performance are related to EI. The real test of our emotional intelligence capabilities is when we are feeling overwhelmed and stressed. The leaders I work with, as an executive coach, say they have never felt more stressed in the workplace than at this time, with far greater unpredictability and tidal waves of continuous change. The leadership capabilities of being aware of one’s emotions and then being able to collaborate with them productively, under extreme conditions, is one of the constants in my coaching practice. This work with leaders has increased exponentially over the past 24 months. Two years into a seismic global shift, leaders are managing unpredictable business conditions while providing support for employees who, like the leaders themselves, are experiencing intense feelings of anger, sadness, fear, and anxiety. The practice of emotional intelligence is sometimes the only support tool available to a leader while navigating relentless stress levels on the job. I am hearing from my clients, that the world they work in right now has not slowed down or somehow ordered itself as we move from a global pandemic to an endemic with Covid-19. Many leaders I work with are practicing and growing their emotional intelligence capabilities that include:
A senior leader that I work with, and will refer to her as Maria for anonymity, has been on the front lines in the healthcare delivery system for the past two years. Working with her own stress levels and a feeling of burn-out, Maria is managing her fear and anxiety when triggered in certain high stakes situations. “I manage my emotions differently, by calming myself before responding to a coworker who was in a high stress loop herself.” Maria is becoming more adept at recognizing her emotional patterns and unconscious reactive responses. As a result, she is more able to calm herself, sit back from the situation for a moment, before choosing to ask a more helpful or strategic question. Maria recognized that when she reacts or tries to fix the situation, she inadvertently elevates the stressful emotions of others in the room. “I watched myself calm down, and even more miraculously, I watched the other person calm down and find a way forward that was her own idea.” Her commitment to work with her emotions, that like all of us, can hijack her in high stress situations, enabled Maria to see her strongly held assumptions about what might be going on. Once she was able to do both practices, she changed the outcome for the better for everyone involved. The development of emotional intelligence competencies in leaders, especially when under stress, can foster inner resilience when the many challenges at work and in life feel insurmountable.
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The constant uncertainty and ambiguity that comes with our daily lives creates the conditions for stress, burn-out, and a sense of emotional upheaval. The leaders I work with, now more than ever, are looking for coping skills and practices to work with the demands of today’s constantly changing and challenging world. Over the past two years, many of us, including leaders in the workplace, have experienced significant external stressors outside of our control, that have created uncertainty in our personal and professional lives. In addition, the internal stressors that we, and especially leaders, place on ourselves can result in even greater emotional upheaval and a steady stream of stress induced chemicals, such as adrenalin and cortisol, to flow through our bodies. The real and perceived threats to our livelihoods and sense of well-being, can leave us wondering if we can sustain what we’re thinking, feeling, and doing. These stressful conditions call for a menu of mindfulness practices that can help us to better manage these ups and downs. The most important foundational practice is to develop a greater sense of self-awareness about what triggers us, what is happening in our bodies, how we respond, and how we might be negatively impacting ourselves, and those around us. For leaders, mindfulness practices are more essential than ever, as employees deal with higher levels of stress as well. As we know, people at work who are also stressed, are more likely to make assumptions about everything leaders say (or do not say), actions leaders take (or do not take), and the emotions leaders exhibit. Mindfulness practices help leaders to understand themselves, observe their conscious and unconscious behaviors, explore effective ways to work with their emotions, and the emotions of others during times of heightened stress. More important still, everyday practices of mindfulness can calm chronically activated para-sympathetic nervous system stress response loops, that seriously impacts our health and well-being. Leaders might try these three mindfulness practices for everyday life:
In turbulent times like these, with a global pandemic that creates fear, anxiety, sadness, uncertainty and doubt, it’s reasonable that leaders may be finding it difficult to balance their emotions and remain open to others. I’m struggling with the barrage of information about spiraling death rates, and how to remain safe, that elevates my anxiety. When everything seems to be out of control, and our physical safety is compromised, we can manage our negative emotions by living life in small moments. The coping skills of zeroing in on the many moments in our days that are alright and going well, can change our perspective from overwhelmed to simmering to relaxed.
The Covid-19 virus landed in Washington state in February this year. Two months later, with thousands of positive cases, hundreds of deaths and stay at home requirements, we’ve been riding on an emotional roller coaster and anticipating it might be a while before we can get off. There are no human beings on this planet that have not been affected by this extremely contagious virus. I have deep empathy for those who’ve lost loved ones and who have been unable to console or say goodbye to them. It’s impossible to understand the shortages of safety equipment, masks, ventilators and tests for first responders putting their lives on the line every day. There are fear and anxiety driven behaviors such as food hording, price gouging, cheating people out of federal relief checks and loads of internet scams that prey on people. We’re all wondering if there will be a new normal on the other side of this. I’m taking my own advise at this time to focus moment to moment each day while practicing extreme self-care (ESC); sleeping well, exercising, eating healthy foods (with some guilty pleasures like ice cream and chocolate); calming the immune system by meditating, whatever will settle my mind and bring awareness to my reactivity to so many factors beyond my control. In turbulent times it’s best to live our lives in consumable bites – day by day and moment to moment. For leaders, practicing self-care feels like the last thing to do in the long list of mounting personal and business pressures. However, ESC with doses of self-compassion, grace and courage are now required more than ever, to help others in need of extra support. It’s a humbling act to observe and understand ourselves in these times of great uncertainty, to allow our emotions in fully, without minimizing, rationalizing, fixing or numbing them. Leaders must extend their awareness beyond themselves, knowing that heightened negative emotions can spread to others quickly, so managing them well, and having good coping strategies saves everyone from taking a ride on the stress bus. With greater presence and a practice of appreciation, we’re more able to be intentional about our next actions and words, to be as authentic and balanced as possible. Appreciation moment to moment may include thinking about what is good in our lives, taking walks in nature, smelling everything new in the Spring air, being grateful for you own health and that of our family members as well. By making a choice every day to pay attention to and contribute to the many acts of kindness in our communities, to thank the many selfless health and essential workers and to support local food banks, will take us out of our own revelry to see the bigger picture around us. Living our best lives in times like these comes with a steep learning curve, however, with great uncertainty, we can choose to take it all in one moment at a time. |
AuthorI founded The Red Rock Consultancy for the specific purpose of working with C-level executives, senior leaders and their leadership teams as an integral leadership development resource. Blog Posts
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